


Love in lavenders and lilies

by gaypoisonqueenofgrapes



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst, Cutting, Depression, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Blue Lions Route Spoilers, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Timeskip | War Phase (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), Self-Harm, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-05
Updated: 2020-03-05
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:00:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23020618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gaypoisonqueenofgrapes/pseuds/gaypoisonqueenofgrapes
Summary: “Thank you for addressing me as myself by the way... but I cannot make it at the moment- I’m busy.”“Doing what?” There was no beat, no pause.“Something for therapy,” he said. “An exercise I learned from Byleth last she taught me.” The exercise in question didn’t involve knives but poor sweet Dedue didn’t need to know that.“Perhaps I could join you?” The Duscarian was no fool.“No I’m afraid it’s personal.” He said, “However I’m almost done then I’ll take up your offer on going to see the flowers bloom.”Dedue sighed, and with no warning he pushed open the door._______________________When Dimitri falls into bad habits again, Dedue is desperate to pull him out of his funk.
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Dedue Molinaro
Comments: 1
Kudos: 29





	Love in lavenders and lilies

Water washed over blossoming lavender, a gentle giant taking good care of the small purple flower. Since returning to the monastery, Dedue really could only find happiness in his highness and in the greenhouse. His relationships with the others were strange- most put off by his disappearance and angry of the grief they’ve dealt with that had no reasonable place. He watched the small purple petals absorb the water- smiling that even he could be useful to such beautiful life. 

“I don’t know, I fear it’s best not to ask for now.” A voice caused him to turn around. The man wasn’t one for eavesdropping but something of the voice’s tone made him curious. He moved on to the lilies, pouring water into its roots as he listened. 

He could hear footsteps, trading off weight as they bounced from side to side. That first voice then must have been Ingrid, she always did that when she was nervous. 

“He’s our friend,” a voice joined in, that being of Sylvain’s. “I’m concerned as to why he would ask you that and I don’t think it’s wrong for us to know.” He spoke to Felix who simply sighed. 

“He could just be doing some strange tally system, trading off of lives and such... you know how he gets about all that.” He said with a shrug, “If we really had anything to worry about I’d be frank and ask him but I’m sure it’s fine, besides, we might overwhelm him if we ask.” 

“Things are just becoming normal again,” Ingrid joined in. “And though I don’t trust... everyone since their return I know that the prince’s heart swelling from happiness once more is... because of him.” 

Sylvain nodded, “Seteth still believes it’s strange he arrived during battle, and said its best not to trust him... as he could be a part of the other side but I...” he gulped. “I trust him.” 

Felix put both his hands up- fixing to speak when he heard footsteps behind him. He turned around- forced to look up at the blockade of the man keeping him from sunlight. “Dedue.” 

“You heard all of that.” Ingrid spoke- no true apology in her tone though a bit of worry lacing her words. 

“We didn’t know you were here man-“ Sylvain spoke, “Forget all we said, we do trust you- we love you in fact it’s just-“ 

“I understand.” Dedue spoke. “If any of you had disappeared and reappeared the same way I did I’d hold my suspicions just as strong.” He said, brushing back his own hair. 

“I’d kill someone if they talked about me that way, especially if I was just there watering my lavender... why are you so calm...” Felix pondered, raising a brow. 

“I find I don’t want to waste my aggression on things that don’t need it- I need to save that for my enemies.” He answered simply. “And though you might not feel the same... I consider you the opposite of my enemies.” 

“We love you too, man.” Sylvain spoke up. “I feel it’s right to tell you what’s going on- Felix?” 

Felix looked at the red haired male- there was a strange glint in his eyes as he turned to the blonde. “I think Ingrid should.” 

Ingrid arched a brow, “Why me?”

“We all know Dedue is good for that boar,” before he could continue Felix heard a voice. 

“Please don’t refer to his highness in such a rude manner.” 

Felix blinked for a second but then nodded with a sigh. “...Fine, we all know Dedue is good for Blondie.” He spoke, “Ingrid, you care for helping him more than a lot of people here do and I want you to put his getting better in motion, right here right now.” 

Ingrid seemed to tighten her fist as she stared at Felix, she closed her eyes and firmly turned her head to face Dedue. Her eyes opening slowly as she parted her lips to speak, “He wanted the kill count,” she began. “He wanted to know the number of people we killed today.” 

Dedue blinked once, in all honesty such a thing might not concern a person but for some reason something felt very off about it that left the duscarian in worry. “I’ll speak with him.” He said, bowing before leaving their presence. “Thank you, truly.”

Blood seeped from an open wound, the metal blade digging into white skin. The blonde prince gave a crack of a grin, satisfied from the crimson dripping from the mark he’d made. He reeled, biting his lip so hard it bled- delicious... the taste of even more blood. “Fifteen,” He whispered smoothly as he lifted his knife to make another cut. “Sixteen,” He spoke, making a quick cut, licking his lips in satisfaction once he’d made the wound. “Seven-“

A knock on the door. 

“Your highness?” 

Dimitri squinted his eyes shut. 

“Your highness?” 

Dimitri bit his lip, a bit of a smile coming back from hearing an audible sigh. 

“Dimitri...” 

“Yes, Dedue?” 

Even through the door, the sigh of relief that escaped dedue’s lips touched something within the prince. He brought his knees onto the bed as he waited for his Dedue’s reply. 

“I wanted to come fetch you for a walk,” he began. “It’s spring you know, the flowers just started to bloom and I believe his highn-my friend could benefit from a walk around the courtyard with me.” 

Dimitri nearly sprung from his bed- a walk with Dedue? It sounded lovely and sweet but he was held back when he felt his heartbeat in his arm. The cuts still freshly bleeding. “I cannot,” he said. “Thank you for addressing me as myself by the way... but I cannot make it at the moment- I’m busy.”

“Doing what?” There was no beat, no pause. 

“Something for therapy,” he said. “An exercise I learned from Byleth last she taught me.” The exercise in question didn’t involve knives but poor sweet Dedue didn’t need to know that. 

“Perhaps I could join you?” The Duscarian was no fool. 

“No I’m afraid it’s personal.” He said, “However I’m almost done then I’ll take up your offer on going to see the flowers bloom.” 

Dedue sighed, and with no warning he pushed open the door. Dimitri jumped up, the blood from his wound dripping onto the floor and creating a puddle. He tightened his grip around his knife as he moved to the corner, desperation shining in his eyes. 

“Dimitri...” Dedue spoke, nausea pooling in his stomach as he saw the blood and the knife, the crimson stains on the knife making something snap within him. “You used to do that with sticks...” he began moving over to the cowering man in the corner. “You promised you were over that.” He said, “You promised I could leave you alone...” Dedue’s eyes clouded with something strange. “You lied.” 

Dimitri looked away, casting his gaze to the corner. “I’m doing what is just,” he said. “I know your affection towards me clouds your judgement... but I know this is what I deserve.” He sighed. “Now please.. as my friend... leave me.” 

Dedue tightened his fists- he was so used to following orders. But this wasn’t one... Dimitri had been training him to become something without the prince, to be his own person. And he’d be damned if he let the only person kind enough to love him down. 

But that would mean he’d have to trade love for hate, if even for a moment. 

Dimitri chuckled sadly. “Fine.” He seethed, “I suppose you’ll have to stay and watch because I’m not stopping.” He said, his voice dropping to a growl, lifting the knife to cut himself again. Dedue was quick on his feet however, and he ran to Dimitri and the weapon- the prince weakened by the amount of blood he was losing unable to strike back quick enough. Dedue grabbed the knife and lashed it away from his grasp. Using his hand he threw it sharp into the wall, so hard the blade pierced the inner wood and it stayed hanging. “Dedue please,” the man begged, his voice strained from crying. “Just let me finish I was almost done.” He spoke, standing up from the wall he leaned against and beginning to walk past the larger man- sure he wouldn’t stop him. 

He was surprised to feel two strong arms wrap around him- pulling him into a hug. A hug that was meant to be comforting but felt unfair... suffocating. Dimitri clawed at Dedue’s coat, trying even to climb up and over him. Salvation was in that knife. Freedom was in that knife. Justice was in that knife. He could have knocked dedue down to his knees, beat him to a pulp- but someone who was trying to protect him out of foolish love didn’t deserve such. Dedue eventually stopped holding him- a sigh of relief leaving the prince but quickly being stifled as he felt himself be lifted instead, pinned to the bed. 

Dedue’s strong body pinned him down all on its own, his chest unable to move under the taller’s weight. Small whines and whimpers escaped the prince as he tilted his head back, his hand extending towards the direction of the knife. “G-Give it.” He said, his vision hazy from all the blood loss. 

“Dimitri please...” Dedue spoke, the prince could have sworn he heard a waver in his usual calm voice. “Stop this madness.” Dimitri nearly stopped when he felt a warm liquid fall onto his skin. Dedue never cried. Not at the burning village, not at their reunion- not even at seeing Byleth again. 

But he shed tears here, and shed tears now. The thought made Dimitri clutch onto dedue hard. “Let me go,” he whimpered. “Let me go I don’t deserve this,” he cried into the older mans coat. “I don’t deserve you- let me go.” He said. “This isn’t helping it just makes me want to end it more- I’ve taken advantage of you for years- I’ve used you as my right hand man and only now are you becoming anything more. You’re more of a man then I could ever dream to be and I don’t deserve to be by your side- let me go. Let me take the knife and put an end to this please.” 

“You’re wrong.” Dedue immediately spoke, “Its rare that you are but this is an exception,” he said with a small chuckle. “Sure our roles needed adjusting- but you never treated me as any lower... it was I who always felt I needed to be such.” Dedue nuzzled into the smaller man. “I fear I am selfish.” He said with a small sniff. “The reason I so fervently fight for your life at any given moment is because I can’t live without you by my side.” He said, “Of course your kingdom matters- but I keep you alive so I can see your smile when you eat your favorite foods,” he murmured. “Or the look of satisfaction you obtain when you smell the baby breath flowers in the greenhouse.” He said with a fond and soft chuckle. “I don’t just want to protect you as your bodyguard,” he said. “My deepest fantasy... has always been to be your equal...” 

Dimitri’s eyes snapped open- the tears that fell down his flushed cheeks didn’t cease. “Dedue...” he whimpered, his heartbeat beating loud against his chest- exposing that he shared the same desire. He chuckled fondly, a chuckle Dedue hadn’t heard since before the war. “I...I love you too.” He said, a blush on his cheeks as he pulled his head away from his shoulder. Dark aquamarine eyes met beautiful blue as all else fell silent. Dimitri forgot about the blood on his skin, and the knife stuck in the wall. His eyes fluttered close as he pressed his lips against Dedue’s. The taller male took a second to close his eyes as well, bringing one strong arm to rest beneath his back with the other hand reaching to run his hands through his tangled hair. Even when Dimitri pulled away, Dedue pulled him back- both of them never wanting this to end. 

Dedue finally pulled away when he realized the condition his prince was still in. “I’ll go get aid.” He spoke, pressing his hand against his lips, as if he couldn’t believe it. He stood on his feet, letting his eyes fall back on the prince. The blonde lied on the bed, the same sparkle of hope and love and even a bit of joy strong in his eyes as it had been before the war. He walked over to the wall, taking the knife out of it before leaving the room to go find Mercedes.

Dedue stayed out of the room while Mercedes bandaged Dimitri up, she had Ashe come in to look for any additional weapons- both Annette and Ashe hiding any weapons surrounding his room in their own. Felix and Sylvain came to replenish the bandages, while Ingrid and Dorothea brought freshly picked flowers. Everyone came in and out, wishing their leader well- giving him kisses and hugs for encouragement. After everyone had gone, and evening had settled Dedue entered the room. He expected to be berated by the prince for telling everyone, but instead he was met with an exaggerated groan that made him crack a fond grin. 

“Why did you get Mercedes that was awful” Dimitri spoke, moving to lie his head on Dedue’s shoulder when the taller sat down on the bed.

“Why? Don’t you adore her?” Dedue responded, clear with genuine confusion as he knew how much respect Dimitri held for their friend. 

“Of course I do, she’s the best healer I’ve ever known and among the best of mages... but she’s exactly like a mother. Made me feel even worse just with her loving words and care- that and she scolded me.” Dimitri said, making Dedue chuckle and ending up earning a playful hit from the blonde. 

“Well... is that enough to make you not do it again?” Dedue asked, hope clear in his words. 

“No...” Dimitri admitted, Dedue’s smile falling as he got another lecture ready- surprised when he was met with the princes’ eyes staring into his- all of the life back in them. This was no promise he wouldn’t relapse- but this was a promise... no mater what the prince did he wouldn’t leave Dedue’s side until the time was right. “That kiss was.” 

Dedue’s heart skipped a beat. With a small nod he turned towards the prince. “Well then, I suppose you’ll need a bit more encouraging, hm?” Dedue asked with a small kind of smirk that made Dimitri chuckle a bit. 

“I suppose I will.”

As the lavenders bloomed, purple flowers trickling into sunlight- two lovers found comfort and home in each other’s embraces. The cuts that marked pure white skin to be healed with bandages of time and care- at least one thing was known. 

Neither would leave the others side again.


End file.
